


Places That We've Never Been

by headscarvesandtattoos



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Happy Ending, Heart Break, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 21:07:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6675508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/headscarvesandtattoos/pseuds/headscarvesandtattoos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry remembers reading a Buzzfeed article a while back about people traveling the world to get over tragedies in their lives such as someone close to them dying or a broken heart.  Harry had probably read it and thought about how he’d never have to do that to get over a broken heart because he’d always have Louis.  Well, it turns out he was extremely wrong about that.</p>
<p>or the one where Harry goes on a Euro trip to get over Louis and to find himself but the only thing he ends up finding is Louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Places That We've Never Been

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
> I've had this idea for a while so I decided to actually write it! More travel fics from me lmao The summary isn't very good but whatever! Thank you for reading and enjoy!
> 
> Title from Walking In the Wind

It took Harry exactly seven days and eighteen hours of lying in bed crying to make the decision.

He grabs his laptop, furiously typing words into the Google search bar, fingers stabbing the keys.Barely glancing at the price, Harry presses the little blue “Check out” button at the bottom of the page.No turning back now, he’s just bought himself a one way ticket to Europe.

As soon as he realizes what he’s just done, tears well up in his eyes again.They burn at the brim of his eye lids as he does everything in his power to hold them back.He will not cry. 

It’s just, if he would have asked him a year ago what he would be doing this second, he never would’ve guess this.Hell, if you would have asked him seven days and nineteen hours ago he wouldn’t have guessed this either.

It’s safe to assume that any of the guesses he would’ve previously made would’ve involved Louis because up until seven days and nineteen hours ago, everything in his life involved Louis.

They were lying in bed, soft white sheets wrapped around them, Harry’s head resting on Louis’ chest.

Coming down from what might have been some of the best sex of Harry’s life, he felt completely blissed out.

“I love you,” Harry murmured quietly into the soft, tattooed skin of Louis’ chest.

He snuggled in closer, closing his eyes waiting for Louis’ response but all he felt was Louis stiffen under him. 

Immediately, Harry’s eyes had shot open, because in the past seven years of their relationship, not once had this happened.Louis probably told Harry that he loved him at least ten times a day.

Harry moved to look at Louis, leaning all his weight on his arm.

“Lou?” Harry had asked at the same time Louis had blurted out, “I’m going to New York.”

“What?” Harry asked frantically, heart beating in his chest at what felt like a thousand beats per minute. 

“I’m going to New York,” Louis had repeated, eyes closed.

“I heard you the first time, Louis.What the fuck does that mean?” Harry demanded harshly.He felt dizzy.

His hands shook as he watched Louis scrub his hands over his face.Seconds felt like hours waiting for Louis to answer.

“I got a job,” Louis answered, barely above a whisper.He finally opened his eyes to look at Harry. “I leave in two days.”

“God dammit!” Harry had yelled. “How long have you known, Louis? You never once mentioned to me that you were even looking for jobs in New York!”

Harry felt like he had just been stabbed in the heart.Seven years of promises down the drain.

When Louis didn’t say anything, Harry continued.

“Does are relationship even mean anything to you?” Harry asked, tears escaping his eyes. “Did you even ever mean it when you said you loved me?”

“Harry, please don’t do this,” Louis begged.

“Don’t do this?” Harry’s eyes widened, incredulously. “Don’t do what, Louis? If you’re so willing to just up and leave without even telling me until two days before, how am I supposed to believe anything you’ve said to me in the last seven years? Was this a game for you?”

Finally, Louis sat up and faced Harry. “You knew I wanted to go to New York.”

“The fucking plan was that we would both go to New York after I fucking graduated, dammit!” Harry gritted.

“But when would that be?” Louis asked, tears in his own eyes. “Harry, I can’t wait around forever! You were supposed to be graduated by now! But-“

“Okay!” Harry cut him off. “I get it! I’m not worth it! I’m holding you back!”

“That’s not-“

“No, Louis,” Harry stopped him. “Save it.”

He got up off the bed, and pulled his clothes on as fast as possible.

“Good luck in New York, Louis. I’m sorry for wasting seven years of your life.”

And with that, Harry was gone.

He rushed through Louis’ house, trying not to look at the pictures of the two of them on the walls.Everything in this house had a memory of the two of them and Harry couldn’t stand to be in there any longer.As soon as he was out the door a son ripped through his body, tears blurring his vision, feeling like all his limbs had been cut off.Louis was a part of him, and now that part of him was gone.

Apparently, he wasn’t as much a part of Louis as he thought.

And that’s how Harry ended up with his one way ticket to Europe.

He couldn’t lie around and cry any longer, he needed to go out and do something to get his mind off things. 

Harry remembers reading a Buzzfeed article a while back about people traveling the world to get over tragedies in their lives such as someone close to them dying or a broken heart.Harry had probably read it and thought about how he’d never have to do that to get over a broken heart because he’d always have Louis.Well, it turns out he was extremely wrong about that.

Opening a new tab, Harry typed in Facebook and logged in. 

_Leaving for Europe on Friday for an indefinite amount of time.Harry typed into the status box. Need some time to explore and do some thinking. If anyone needs to contact me during this time, please do it via Facebook/WhatsApp, but try not to need me as I would like to stay away from Social Media as much as possible. Thank you for understanding, Harry_.

Of course everyone who reads his status will know that this has everything to do with Louis, but Harry just hopes no one shows it to him.

Since their break up, Harry has deleted Louis from all social media, not wanting to know what’s going on in Louis’ new life in New York.The one Harry had been holding him back from, apparently.

With only three days until he leaves for Europe, Harry decides maybe he should do some packing.Sighing, he pushes himself off the bed, feeling his bones crack as he stands up.Walking is something he hasn’t done much of in the past week, only getting out of bed when absolutely necessary. 

It feels good to stretch his legs but he feels too exposed being out of bed.The soft, navy blue blankets on his bed felt like a safety net, keeping him away from whatever it was that was happening outside. 

It’s not even a minute after he starts looking through his closet that his phone rings from where it’s sitting on his bed.Making what feels like a long trek across the room, Harry is unsurprised to see that it’s his mom calling when he looks at the caller ID.Undoubtedly it’s about his Facebook status. 

“Hello?” Harry says, voice gravely due to the fact that it’s been a few days since he’s talked, sobs being the only sound that’s escaped him recently.

“So, when were you going to inform your mother that you’re leaving the country?” her voice comes in.The tiniest hint of a smile curves on Harry’s lips at the sound of her voice.

Harry clears his throat and sits down on his bed.He wraps his blanket around himself, still warm from lying on it just a few minutes before.“I only decided this myself a few minutes ago.”

She hums on the other side of the phone. “Are you sure this is a good idea, baby? Why don’t you come stay with me for a while? Won’t you get lonely all by yourself over there?”

“No,” Harry sighs. “I need some time alone to get myself together. Plus, I can’t stay here.Everything reminds me of, um, reminds of him.” His voice breaks at the end of the sentence, as he refuses to say Louis’ name.It’s probably not even possibly for Harry to say it without crying anyway.

“I know,” Anne murmurs, sympathetically. “I just worry, you know that.What are you going to do about school though, Harry?”

Harry feels his stomach drop as the topic of school is brought up.Pulling the blanket tighter around himself, he runs a shaky hand through his greasy hair.Which reminds him, he doesn’t even know the last time he showered. 

“Mom, please,” Harry begs.This is a bit of a sensitive subject, one that Louis had brought up that day in bed.Harry’s taken a bit of a long route when it comes to school.Technically, he should have graduated by now but as Harry has learned in the past seven days and eighteen hours, things don’t always go as planned. “I’ll finish school eventually, I really will.But right now, I have to do this for myself.”

Luckily, it’s summertime, meaning Harry isn’t currently enrolled in any classes. He does have a job at a bakery not too far from where he lives but they’ve always been kind to Harry and he hopes they’ll understand why he’ll have to quit on such short notice.Plus, he’s been calling in sick for the last few days anyway.

Harry genuinely doesn’t think he could bare ending a shift without Louis waiting there with a smile on his face to pick Harry up from work.It’s become such a routine over the past few years.

Anne is quiet on the other end of the phone. “Okay,” she finally agrees. “Promise me two things, baby.”

“Anything,” Harry answers immediately.

“Come see me before you leave, and when you come back you’ll finish school, okay?”

“Of course,” Harry nods.“Mom, there’s no way I was going to go to Europe without saying goodbye first.You know that.”

“I know,” and Harry can hear the smile in her voice.

When he hangs up, Harry can’t deny that he feels slightly better just from hearing her voice.No matter how old he gets, he’ll always need his mom.

Packing turns out to be a lot of more difficult than expected.

When you’re leaving for an indefinite amount of time and no idea exactly where you’ll end up, it’s hard to know what you’ll need. 

Harry also realizes pretty quickly that at least a third of the things in his closet actually belong to Louis which brings on a whole other breakdown. 

Seven years together, and their entire lives kind of blended into one without them even realizing it, like it was the most natural progression.

Half the things Harry pulls out he’s not even sure whether they belong to him or Louis.They shared everything. 

Harry was only sixteen when they met, and Louis eighteen.The connection had been instantaneous.

Originally, Louis had been friends with Gemma, Harry’s older sister.

Growing up, Harry had always had a bit of a crush on Louis and when Gemma started hanging out with Louis, Harry jumped on the chance to get to know Louis. 

He had always been outgoing and very charming so he had no problem charming Louis too.

One night, while their parents were away, Gemma threw a party.Louis kissed Harry that night and the rest was history.

Of course, Gemma was mad at first but she eventually got over it when she realized they really truly did love each other, even as young as they were.

Harry wipes a stray tear from his cheek when he thinks about that first night Louis kissed him.It had felt like such a dream, that when he woke up the next morning, wrapped around Louis he wasn’t sure if it had actually happened.Upon waking up, Louis had immediately assured Harry that he wasn’t dreaming, and kissed him again.

He holds a picture in his hand from the party, Louis in the middle with his arms wrapped around Harry and Gemma.Harry’s head is thrown back, face scrunched up with laughter, most likely laughing at a stupid joke Louis had made.

The picture had been forgotten in his closet with a few other older pictures, buried under a pile of clothes.Until now that is.

A few more, warm tears race down Harry’s cheeks as he shakes his head at the memory, setting the picture aside.

Had Harry known attempting to pack would be a trip down memory lane, he probably would have put it off longer. But, at least he’s doing something else besides lying in bed and crying.This time he’s standing up and crying.That’s a start, he supposes.

The next day he drags himself into the shower for only the second time since his heart was broken, and makes his way across town to his mom’s house.It’s a short drive, but it’s painful. 

Spending the past seven years glued to Louis’ side in this town, just about every place he passes holds a memory with Louis.

He passes the old diner he and Louis used to go to every weekend for breakfast.They never even had to order because they came there so often, the waiters and waitresses always knew what they would be ordering.Waffles with strawberry and whipped cream for Louis, with a piping hot tea.Two eggs, two pieces of wheat toast, and hash browns for Harry, with a black coffee.Louis always made fun of Harry for drinking his coffee that way, never understanding how Harry could enjoy that.

Across from the old diner is gas station, which is the only place nearby that sells Harry’s favorite candy.Anytime Louis went there he would be sure to buy the candy for Harry.Even when Louis didn’t need to go there, any time he passed it he would stop in just to get Harry candy.

Closer to his mom’s house, Harry passes the park where Louis had officially asked Harry to be his boyfriend. 

Harry tries his hardest not to cry but can’t help it.Louis was in every part of his life.

When he finally pulls into his mom’s drive way, Harry sighs in relief.

Putting the car in park, Harry turns off the engine and unbuckles his seatbelt, taking some deep breaths and gets out of the car. Quickly, he walks up the path leading to the front door.

Before he can even raise his hand to knock on the door, his mom is opening the door and pulling him into a tight hug.Harry lets his shoulders sag in relief, wrapping his arms around her. 

“Mom,” Harry croaks, hugging her tighter.Anne presses a kiss into Harry’s hair.

They finally break apart and Anne give Harry a sympathetic smile. “Come in, baby.I made you some lunch.Have you been eating? You look like you’ve lost a lot of weight.”

Harry bites his lip as he follows his mom inside.This morning when he got out of the shower he noticed that his hip bones were sticking out more than usual and he could see the faint outline of his ribs.It shouldn’t have been such a shock considering he’s barely eaten anything and when he does eat he just ends up throwing it up, too upset to keep anything down.

Stepping on the scale, Harry was even more shocked to see that he had lost about fifteen pounds. That couldn’t be healthy, especially considering he was already fairly skinny in the first place.

“Haven’t been hungry,” Harry answers as he sits down at the table.There’s a plate waiting for him with what looks to be a homemade chicken salad sandwich and some fresh fruit.He can see a plate of freshly made cookies cooling off near the stove too.

Anne sits down across from Harry setting down her own plate. “Eat,” she encourages, taking a bite of her sandwich.

It’s silent between them as Anne eats her sandwich and Harry picks at the fruit, occasionally picking up a grape or a berry to eat.

“So,” Anne begins, several minutes later. “All packed?”

Harry nods silently, thinking about all the other stuff that belonged to Louis that he packed away in a box, taking a thick, black permanent marker, writing DO NOT OPEN across the front of it.

“I talked to Jay, she said Louis-“

“I don’t want to know,” Harry cuts her off before she can finish her sentence.Whatever she’s about to say about Louis, he doesn’t need to know.If Louis didn’t need Harry in his life anymore, than Harry will at least try to pretend he doesn’t need Louis either. “Please tell me you didn’t mention that I’m going to Europe.”

He watches as her face twists into something that looks like regret. “I did mention that, yes.”

Harry groans, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Mom,” he sighs. “She probably told Louis, and I really don’t need Louis knowing anything about my life now.I don’t need to know about his new life in New York, and he doesn’t need to know about my life either.”

“I’m sorry, Harry. I didn’t think about it,” Anne explains softly, reaching out and taking Harry’s hand in her own.

“We have separate lives now.”

I hurts to say it but it’s the truth.Their lives couldn’t be more separate if they tried.

Anne squeezes Harry’s hand, and Harry feels so small sitting here in his childhood home holding his mom’s hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Shrugging, Harry racks his brain for what there is to even say about it. It’s quiet for a moment until Harry rasps, “He just left me without a second thought. All this time I was talking about our future and little did I know he was going behind my back, planning a future without me.”

For as long as Harry could remember, he and Louis had talked about their future. New York, kids, down to the fucking colors of their walls in their future home.

“I feel like such an idiot,” Harry sobs, tears steadily flowing.

Clucking her tongue, Anne gets up and puts her arms around Harry, leading him from the kitchen table to the couch in the living room.

Once they sit down, she begins to softly card her fingers through Harry’s long, curly hair. “You’re not an idiot, baby. Far from it.”

“But-“ Harry protests.

“No,” Anne insists. “How could you have known he was planning this? There was no way for you to know."

Harry spends the rest of the day curled up on the couch, with his head on his mom’s shoulder, crying his eyes out.

When he leaves he gives her a long hug and a kiss on the cheek with a promise to send postcards.

He drives home keeping his eyes strictly on the road, not letting them wander and think about all the memories each place holds like he did earlier in the day.

Upon arriving home, Harry strips down to his boxers and falls into bed immediately, eyes heavy from crying all day.

Since he hasn’t looked at his Facebook since posting his status about going to Europe, he decides to pull up his account on his phone and see if anyone commented.

Surprisingly, there’s over twenty likes, and more than ten comments wishing him well.

On the bottom of the screen Harry notices a red bubble showing that he has two messages. Clicking on it, he waits for the screen to load Facebook messenger.

The first one is from Niall, one of Harry and Louis’ close friends who moved to Ireland several years ago.

_ Harry!!! I see you’re coming across the pond…better make a stop in Ireland! Let me know what your plans are, mate. I’d love to see ya!! And let me know if you need anything! _

Hearing from Niall is always something that makes Harry happy and the prospect of getting to see Niall sometime soon makes Harry excited.He’s not exactly sure if Niall knows what went down between he and Louis but the “let me know if you need anything” sounds a lot like “I’m here if you need to talk” in Niall language.

Harry types a quick message back to Niall before checking what the second message is.

_Niall, it’s so good to hear from you! I would love to come to Ireland! As of now, I don’t have much of a plan.Just trying to do some exploring and do some thinking.We will definitely be in touch_.

Clicking back to his inbox, Harry is more than shocked to see that the second message is from Zayn, one of Louis’ friends.

Harry would call Zayn more of an acquaintance.He liked him well enough but he was always more Louis’ friend than anything, someone Harry never got to know too much.

_ Harry- I hope it’s not weird of me to be reaching out to you but I just wanted to let you know I’m very sorry about what happened.I may be Louis’ friend but I’m on your side with this one.You didn’t deserve what he did.He’s a fucking idiot and I’ve told him that a million times.Have a good time in Europe, man.I wish nothing but the best for you. – Zayn. _

Harry types back a simple Thank you, Zayn. Before closing out of the app, unsure of what else there is to say.It’s a bittersweet message to read.He’s glad to see that Zayn has been telling Louis how big of an idiot he is, but just the mention of Louis is enough to bring tears to Harry’s eyes all over again.

Before he can think about it anymore, Harry reaches over for his charger and plus his phone in.Laying down on his pillow, he pulls the blankets up around his shoulders, snuggling in to the bed. 

Sleeping alone is something Harry will most definitely need to work on getting used to.

Harry’s last full day in America is busy, making last minute arrangement and phone calls.

Before he knows it, he’s waking up on Friday, and getting into a taxi with nothing but a passport, wallet, small suitcase, and phone that he’s already switched off.

Landing in Barcelona is hectic but Harry welcomes to chaos.It immediately takes his mind off of things, and it feels good to be focused on something else besides Louis for the first time.

The warm Spanish air wraps around Harry as he waits in line at customs, passport in hand.He’s surrounded by people speaking a variety of languages and he loves it already.

The line isn’t too long, surprisingly, and it doesn’t take much time for Harry to get to the front, which he’s most definitely grateful for.Once that’s sorted Harry’s off to fetch his suitcase and somehow find his way to the Air B&B he booked for himself just the day before.

It ends up taking longer than anticipated get to where Harry needs to be but once he finally walks into the room he’ll be staying in for the next few days, weeks, he doesn’t even know, Harry feels like he can finally breathe.

Harry sets his suitcase down in the corner of the room, and then flops down on the bed.He spreads his arms and legs out and allows himself to close his eyes for only a few moments.His eyes are stinging, begging for some sleep, but he won’t allow it.If there’s one thing he knows about travelling, it’s that you have to adjust to the time change immediately.Falling asleep now would fuck him up for days.

Despite the fact that he vowed to himself that he wouldn’t use his phone unless it was absolutely necessary, Harry switches his phone on and connects to the WIFI.He doesn’t want his mom to worry so he types a quick message to her before putting his phone on airplane mode.

After a quick shower and change of clothes, Harry decides that his first stop will be Parc Guell.It’s somewhere he’s always wanted to visit.

Getting there isn’t too difficult, and it seems that he’s chosen a good time to go, because it’s not overly crowded.

Taking in the view, Harry is speechless.He takes his camera out of his backpack and snaps a few pictures before putting it away again.Photography is something Harry has always loved, and he wants to have pictures to remember all the amazing places he’ll experience, but he wants to make sure that he takes it all in.He doesn’t want to look back on the pictures someday and feel like he didn’t fully experience it, but instead was focused on seeing things through the lense of his camera.

There’s a little bit of a breeze that blows Harry’s shirt against his skin, and a small shiver goes through his body.

As he takes in the beauty of Barcelona right in front of his eyes, and he can’t help but she a few tears. This has to be one of the most bittersweet moments of his life.Here he is in Spain, a place he’s always dreamt of visiting, but he’s here all alone with a broken heart.These are things he always thought he’d be experiencing with Louis.

For the millionth time in the past few weeks, he’s reminded of how wrong he was about a lot of things.

Throughout the next couple of days Harry knocks the big tourist attractions off his list such as La Sagrada Familia, Parc de la Ciutadella, and he spends a lot of time people watching by the Magic Fountain of Montjuic.No matter where he goes, Harry brings his journal with him, writing down anything from observations to poems to things he doesn’t want to forget.

He spends the better half of a week on the beach though.There’s something comforting about the warm sand under his feet. 

Harry remembers last year for his birthday when Louis had taken him to Jamaica.Louis had been saving up forever, and Harry hadn’t even known.They basked in the warm sun, and Harry’s lips were stained red from too many fruity drinks.At night after the sun went down they would make love in the sand.Harry remembers the way the water had splashed up on to his ankles while Louis buried his face in Harry’s neck, repeating over and over again how much he loved him.

After Harry finds himself spending too much time thinking about those Jamaican nights, he decides that it’s time for him to move on to another country.Maybe one that doesn’t have a beach.

Opening his laptop, he looks at all the possible destinations in Europe.Paris sounds nice, but then again it’s the city of love.It’s probably not the best place for someone with a broken heart.

Scrolling down the page, Harry sees something for Ireland and immediately thinks of Niall.If he’s going to Ireland Harry figures he should stop in London and Scotland as well.

Harry pulls out his phone and opens WhatsApp to call Niall.Thank God he chose an Air B&B with WIFI or else he’d probably be paying more for a five minute phone call than for a flight to Ireland.

“Harry!” Niall answers after a few rings. “How’s my little traveler?”

Harry’s heart warms at the familiar sound of Niall’s thick Irish accent.It’s been too long since they’ve last talked on the phone.

“I’m alright,” Harry answers, smiling for the first time in what feels like forever. “I’m in Barcelona but I’m ready to move onto somewhere else.Just saw something for a flight to Ireland but I also want to stop in London, and somewhere in Scotland. Don’t know where though.”

“Edinburgh maybe?” Niall suggests.

Harry hums in response, scrolling through the list of flight options with the hand that isn’t holding his phone.

“Maybe. Definitely want to come to Ireland though.”

“Of course you wanna come to Ireland! Me and my love Guinness are here!” Niall jokes. “I could meet you in Dublin.”

By the time the two get off the phone, Harry has a flight to London booked where he’ll fly to Dublin from.Niall decides he’ll join Harry in Edinburgh which Harry is delighted to hear.

It becomes quite apparent that he should’ve planned more in advance for this whole Euro trip.Buying a ticket to London the day before the flight is far from cheap.But it’s a painful reminder that a few weeks ago, he was still with Louis, no idea that Louis already had a job lined up in New York, ready to leave oblivious Harry behind.

Landing in London, Harry is sad to see Barcelona go, but he can’t lie when he says it’s nice to hear the familiar language on English.British accents are something he’s always loved.

Lugging his suitcase onto the crowded tube is a mistake that is made obvious immediately.There’s barely any room for himself, let alone a suitcase. 

Frantically, Harry attempts to hold on to something to keep himself from falling over, while also keeping hold of his suitcase and trying to figure out the tube map.

Squinting up at the map of the Piccadilly Line, Harry searches for a station that connects to the District Line so he can get to his Air B&B in Westminster.At least he thinks that’s what the email told him to do.

Thankfully, he figures it out, dragging his suitcase along and receiving a number of dirty looks from the Londoners. 

He has two days in London, before he’s off to Dublin.It’s much shorter than the week his spent in Barcelona but he didn’t want to keep Niall waiting too long.

Exhausted from the earlier flight and stress of his first time on the tube, Harry walks to the nearest coffee shop and decides his best option is the fill up on caffeine.

Two cups of coffee and a chocolate scone later, Harry is ready to take on London.First stop is Big Ben, of course.He gets his pictures out of the way before he finds a nice spot in the grass to sit down and admire the tower.

It’s a beautiful day, with the sun shining through the clouds.There are people everywhere and Harry absolutely loves the busy environment.

His heart pangs when he sees a couple nearby taking a picture together, the guy sweetly kissing his girlfriend’s cheek.That’s when Harry decides it’s time to move on to somewhere else.

Somewhere else ends up being Buckingham Palace.Making the short walk down the street and through St. James’s Park, Harry has to admit, he’s a little disappointed with the palace and it’s boring nude colored tone.

The rest of the day is spent sitting along the Southbank.He takes time to relax and people watch, just as he did in Barcelona.It's something he always enjoys. There’s so many people who’s stories you don’t know, and can only guess.It fascinates him.

The next day, he hits Piccadilly Circus, Leicester Square, and Covent Garden.He makes his way up to Camden Town, which he completely falls in love with.

Overall, he just does a lot of walking around London with no true destination.Walking gives him time to think, and he needs to do a lot of thinking.

He thinks about what it would be like if Louis was here, but he stops himself before it can get too far.He thinks about what he’s going to do after he graduates.The plan had always been to go to New York, but now the whole idea of New York makes him sick to his stomach.All it represents now is heartbreak and broken promises.

Maybe he’ll find a place in Europe that he’ll want to stay permanently.He wouldn’t mind staying in London, to be honest.

It might be a bit lonely though, not knowing anyone.

The flight to Dublin is short, just under an hour, and Harry is thankful for that.The anticipation of seeing Niall has been building up and if the flight was any longer, Harry doesn’t think he could handle it.

Just as promised, Niall is waiting for him at the airport, and the sight brings Harry to tears.

Happy tears, because he’s finally seeing one of his best friends after way too long. Sad tears, because of the circumstances that brought them together.

Either way, it’s the happiest he’s felt since he left Louis’ house that day.

“Niall!” Harry squeals as Niall pulls Harry into a tight hug.

“Quit your crying Harry,” Niall smiles.“Ireland is a happy place!”

Niall pulls back and wipes the tears off of Harry’s cheeks. “Sorry,” Harry sniffs. “Just a lot of emotions.”

Nodding, Niall leads him out of the airport and into a taxi. “We’re going to the pub.”

“It’s only eleven,” Harry laughs, buckling his seat belt.

Shrugging, Niall reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope.

Harry watches, raising his eyebrows.Niall looks hesitant as he holds the paper in his hands.

“I, uh, have something for you.I just don’t know exactly when to give it to you.”

Harry looks down at the envelope and back up to Niall.“What is it?”

“I actually don’t know,” Niall answers. “You know what, I’ll give it to you later.After we go to the pub.Let’s get a drink in ya.”

Opening his mouth and closing it again, Harry just nods.He’s beyond confused, but a drink sounds good right now so he’s not going to argue with that.

After a fairly short drive from the airport, the taxi drops them off in front of the pub Niall had told the driver to take them too.The ride there was mostly spent with Niall talking, filling Harry in on what he’s been up to recently.Harry’s happy to listen.

While Niall goes up to grab Harry his first Guinness in Ireland, insisting on paying, Harry waits in a booth in the corner.He connects to the pub’s WIFI and quickly checks in with his mom and sends his sister a quick text as well.It’s been hard not talking to his family much, but it’s also been freeing to not be on social media, and to just enjoy the moments he’s been experiencing.

Looking up when Niall comes back with two Guinness’s, Harry notices there’s someone behind him.A buff guy with brown hair and soft eyes.

“Harry, this is Liam.Liam, this is Harry,” Niall introduces, sitting down across from Harry.Liam slides in next to Niall.

“Nice to meet you,” Harry greets, reaching out a hand to shake.

“You too,” Liam smiles. “Niall talks about you all the time.Harry and what’s his name? Your boyfriend? Lou? Louis?”

Harry’s heart sinks at the mention of Louis’ name.Up until this point, Louis hadn’t come up.Niall had made an obvious effort in the taxi to steer clear of any topic concerning Louis.

Harry sees Niall’s eyes widen, elbowing Liam in the ribs.

Clearing his throat, Harry scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “Um, Louis, yeah. We, uh, we broke up so.”

Liam’s eyebrows shoot up, a blush creeping up on his face. “Oh shit. I’m so sorry! Niall didn’t mention.”

Simultaneously, Niall and Harry pick up their pint glasses, taking a long drink of their Guinness.

“Anyway,” Harry says when the silence is starting to reach an awkward length. “How did you two become friends?”

Liam seems relieved when Harry changes the subject and jumps into the story of how they met through mutual friends a few years back.

“I was going to call him up and have him meet up with us,” Niall explains. “But he just happened to be here at this very pub!”

“You live in Dublin then?” Harry asks curiously.Niall has a lot of friends so it’s hard to keep up with who’s who and how he knows them.

Liam nods, taking a drink of beer. “Moved here about five years ago for work from England. Wolverhampton to be exact.”

The next few hours pass by with Harry listening to stories from both Liam and Niall, but mostly Niall.Harry talks about his experiences and London and Barcelona.No one mentions Louis or why he’s travelling around Europe alone, and Harry’s grateful for that.

He never has an empty glass in front of him, Niall insisting on paying for all his drinks.By the time they’re well into the afternoon, Harry is pleasantly tipsy.

Eventually, Liam has to leave due to plans he has.He hugs both Harry and Niall and promises he’ll see them both soon. 

As soon as Liam is gone Niall’s face turns serious, which isn’t something that happens often.

“Alright?” Harry asks, studying Niall’s face.

He nods and pulls out the envelope again.Somehow, Harry had completely forgotten about it.

“Can I have it now?”

Niall hands over the envelope.Examining the outside, Harry finds that there’s no clues as to what’s inside.It’s completely blank, with no writing.

“I want you to know,” Niall starts. “That I have no idea what it says.It’s a letter.”

“From?” Harry asks curiously.Who could have possibly written him a letter and gave it to Niall?

Niall sighs before speaking. “Louis.”

Harry freezes.Louis? Louis had written him a letter? He wasn’t even supposed to know Harry was here.What could Louis possibly have to say? If it’s an apology, Harry doesn’t want to hear it.

“Louis?” Harry croaks, heart beating fast in his chest. “How did he? How’d you end up with it? I-“

Luckily, Niall cuts him off before he starts rambling out too many questions. “I was talking to him on the phone two days ago, and-“

“You told him I was coming here?” Harry asks frantically.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” Niall says apologetically. “He was saying all these things about how he’s been trying to reach you and without thinking I said I would see you in Dublin. He had no idea you were in Europe and he begged me to give you a letter from him.He emailed it to me but I didn’t read it or anything. What was I supposed to do, Harry?”

Harry doesn’t say anything, trying to process everything Niall had just told him.

“Look, Harry.Not for a second do I think what he did to you was okay.I told him that much, but he’s still my friend. And maybe you’ll want to read what he has to say.”

With shaky hands, Harry begins to rip open the envelope.He unfolds the piece of paper and takes a deep breath.

_ Harry- _

_ I’ve been trying to get ahold of you but it hasn’t been possible. I need to talk to you. There aren’t enough words in the world to tell you how sorry I am.There aren’t enough words in the world to tell you how stupid I was for ever thinking I could do this by myself.This wasn’t my dream, Harry.This was our dream.You make me so strong, and without you I’m nothing. I miss you so much, baby.Not an hour goes by where I don’t think about you.I love you more than anything and I’m so sorry if I ever made you think I didn’t.You’re my world, and I can’t do this without you. I quit my job and in New York and I’m coming home.  _

_ You deserve to hear this in person.You deserve everything actually. _

_ Niall told me you’ll be in Edinburgh until Thursday.I need to see you, baby. I need to talk to you.Meet me in Paris on Friday.I know you’ve always wanted to go there. If you don’t want to see me I understand, but I need to tell you how sorry I am. _

_ -Louis _

At the bottom is all the information about where he’ll be in Paris hoping for Harry to show up.

Harry sets the later down, hands still shaking.There are tears running down his cheeks and landing on the paper.The ink is running where the tear drops have fallen.

“I don’t know what to say,” Harry sniffs. “I can’t see him.”

“I think you should think about it,” Niall says. “I know he hurt you really badly, but he’s willing to come all the way to Paris for you!”

Harry shakes his head. “It doesn’t change the fact that he left me to go to New York, and only told me two days before.Not to mention he told me right after we had sex.”

Niall rolls his eyes. “Dick move,” he mutters.

“I came to Europe to get away from him, to have some time to myself to think.I didn’t come so he could chase me here.”

“I know.You have a few days to think about it though,” Niall points out.

Harry nods, looking down at his hands.It’s a lot to take in.Louis is coming to Paris for him.Whether that’s a good or bad thing, Harry doesn’t know.

“How bout one more drink about we call it a day,” Niall suggests.

Insisting that Niall lets him buy this last drink, Harry wipes away his tears and goes up to the bar to order their drinks.

Afterwards, the two walk down the street to Niall’s friend’s flat where they’re staying for two nights.His friend happens to be out of town so they have the whole place to themselves.Sensing that Harry needs a good cuddle, Niall gathers up some blankets and turns on a movie. 

Harry doesn’t realize how drained he is until his head is resting on Niall’s shoulder and he’s drifting off to sleep five minutes into the movie.

The next morning comes with a slight hangover but Harry feels more rested than he has in weeks.

Niall takes Harry around a few tourist sights before they inevitably end up in the pub again.

No one brings up Louis, and Harry is once again grateful for that.It doesn’t mean he hasn’t thought about him all day though.

Edinburgh is cold but that doesn’t stop them from visiting the castle.It’s the first castle Harry’s ever been to and he’s completely blown away by it.Niall tells him that he’s a proper prince, and Harry just laughs and smiles for the picture Niall’s taking of him.

Thursday comes in a flash and Harry’s particularly quiet.

“You okay?” Niall asks while they’re sat in a pub for lunch.

Harry just nods pushing his food around on his plate, not having much of an appetite.

“Obviously something’s bothering you, and I have a feeling what it’s about. Just tell me.”

Looking up, Harry gives Niall a weak smile.

“Either way I have to buy a plane ticket today to go somewhere tomorrow.I have to make a decision, and I don’t know what to do.I love Louis so fucking much, but I don’t know if I can ever forgive him.”

“I think you should go to Paris, Harry. And if things don’t go well, at least you tried.Then you just buy a plane ticket and go somewhere else.”

Harry shakes his head. “You make it sound so simple.”

“I know it’s not simple but it doesn’t have to be complicated either.”

Needless to say, Harry buys a ticket to Paris that night.

The two have to part ways at the airport.They hug for a long time, and it leaves them both a bit misty eyed.

“We’ll see each other soon, okay?” Niall assures Harry.

“I’m so glad I got to see you,” Harry smiles through his tears.He’s done a lot of crying lately.

“Let me know how it goes, please.No matter what, Harry, you’ll be okay.”

They hug one more time before they go their separate ways, and Harry promises Niall he'll stay safe.

It may have only been four days with him, but it feels a little strange to be travelling alone again.Although, Harry supposes soon he won’t be alone.

A least for a little while.

As if things haven’t been surreal enough these past few weeks, it just keeps getting crazier.

Harry spends the flight to Paris jiggling his knee up and down. He doesn’t know if he’s ever been so nervous in his life.

Quite frankly, he has no idea what to say to Louis, if he even has anything to say to him at all. And he can’t quite get over the fact that Louis literally flew to all the way to Paris to find him.He doesn’t know if he should be flattered or annoyed.

Luckily, Harry knows basic French so he’s able to get himself a taxi and get to the hotel Louis said he’d be at without a problem.

Harry feels sick to his stomach as he gets out of the car.With shaky legs, he rolls his suitcase behind him and into the hotel.

Even though Louis said he’d be sitting in the lobby, Harry is still stunned when he sees Louis right there. Stopping dead in his tracks Harry sucks in a breath.Louis looks up from where he’s sitting and complete shock flashes across his face, as if he thought there was no way Harry would actually show up.

Harry wants to run out of the hotel and back into the taxi.He wants to demand the driver to take him back to the airport but instead his legs move towards Louis.

“Harry,” Louis breathes in disbelief.He stands up as Harry approaches him.

The only thing he can do is stand there, feeling like his heart is about to beat out of chest.

“I can’t believe you came. Fuck, Harry. Say something,” Louis begs.

“I don’t know what to say,” Harry says honestly, looking down at his feet.

He can feel Louis moving closer.

“Why don’t we go up to my room and talk,” Louis suggests quietly. "Somewhere a bit more private."

That makes Harry's head snap up, raising his eyebrows. “What, so you can fuck me and then leave me again?” It comes out harsher than Harry expected but he really doesn’t care.

He feels a small bit of satisfaction as he watches Louis’ face twist into what looks like guilt.

“Fuck, I’m sorry! Can we please just talk upstairs?” Louis asks, looking exhausted.

Harry reluctantly agrees and Louis leads them to an elevator.It’s small, like most elevators in Europe, and it’s sufficiently awkward as the two of them squeeze in together to go up to the third floor where Louis is staying.Harry follows Louis down the hall, trying to remind himself to breathe.

“Put your stuff wherever,” Louis murmurs as he opens the door.

Louis waits on the bed while Harry places his suitcase in the corner.He joins Louis on the bed, leaving a noticeably large amount of room between them.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Louis whispers.

Harry scoffs. “I can’t believe you’re here. Quite the life you’re living, huh Louis? New life in New York, travelling to Paris. Impressive.” Harry’s tone is cold and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t proud of himself.

“Harry, come on,” Louis sighs. “You know I quit my job.It’s in the letter.”

“Tell me why,” Harry demands.

“You know why!” Louis cries. “Harry, I’m so fucking sorry. I-God, baby. I’m so sorry.”

Harry watches as Louis babbles his apologizes with tears running down his cheeks.In the past seven years there’s really only a handful of times Harry has seen Louis cry.As much as Harry is mad at him and has done more than his fair share of crying recently, it still pains him to see Louis like this.

“I wish I could take it all back,” Louis says through his tears. “I should’ve known I couldn’t do it without you. You’re my everything, Harry. Without you I’m nothing.In New York, I was nothing! I wasn’t even good at my job! If I hadn’t quit they probably would’ve fired me. I needed you there, fuck. I fucked up so bad!”

“You needed me? Well how do you think I felt, Louis? Being left alone like it was nothing after seven fucking years of us planning for move to New York! Being left alone after you fucked me like it was any other day.All that time you went behind my back, knowing you were going to leave me and you just let me think everything was fine! How the fuck do you think I felt?”

“I’m sorry!” Louis sobs. “Baby, please!”

“Don’t fucking call me baby, Louis!”

“I love you so much, Harry. I love you more than anything,” Louis croaks.

“I’m having a hard time believing that if you up and left that easy.”

It’s taking everything Harry has not to cry right now.

“If you honestly think that was easy for me, think again.That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.I waited so long to tell you because I didn't know how to! I didn't want to hurt you! These past few weeks have been the worst fucking weeks of my life!”

Harry doesn’t say anything.He really has nothing left to say.

“You’re the one who’s been living it up in Europe!” Louis accuses.

Throwing his head back, Harry lets out a laugh.“I came to Europe because I couldn’t fucking stand the thought of being home where everything reminded me of you. Of us. I came here to figure my life out.To get away from you.”

Louis sighs, scrubbing a tired hand over his face. “I never meant to drive you half way across the world.”

It’s quiet between them for a few moments before Louis speaks up again.

“I don’t know what else to say, Harry. I’ve said I’m sorry and I’ll keep apologizing the rest of my life.I love you so fucking much.So much that I came all the way to Paris to tell you! I know you probably won’t forgive me and I get that, but I can’t live without you for one more second.”

Harry looks into Louis’ eyes, breathing in deeply. “You know, Louis, I’ve seen a lot of amazing things since I’ve been in Europe.I’ve done things people spend their entire lives dreaming about.I should’ve enjoyed them but in the back of my mind the only thing I could think about was you.All I could think about was how I wished you were there with me, about how much you’d love it.You hurt me, Louis.You broke my fucking heart.But I can’t live without you either.”His voice breaks at the end and by the time Harry finishes his sentence he’s full on sobbing.

He feels the bed dip and suddenly Louis is right next to him, wrapping his arms around Harry.Harry’s face tucks into Louis neck and it feels all too familiar.

Louis strokes his hand through Harry’s hair, letting Harry cry into his neck.

“I’m so sorry,” Louis murmurs over and over again. “I’m so sorry.”

After a while, their tears finally subside.Harry pulls away from Louis, sniffing.Louis reaches out and wipes away Harry’s tears before wiping his own.

They stare at each other for a moment before Louis murmurs, “Can I kiss you?”

Harry barely thinks before nodding his head.Louis’ brings his hand up to cup Harry’s jaw.It’s soft and gentle.He closes his eyes and moments later his feels Louis’ hesitant lips against his.Responding immediately, Harry moves his lips against Louis’.They slide together slowly and sweetly, and Harry could start crying all over again with how good it feels.He moves his hand to rest on Louis’ thigh, and Louis intertwines their hands, still cupping Harry’s jaw with the other.

Louis bites Harry’s lip before slipping his tongue into Harry’s mouth.They both groan and continue kissing like that for what feels like eternity.

They begin to slow down after a while and Louis pulls away, just barely so their lips are just centimeters apart.

“I love you,” he whispers against Harry’s lips.

Harry brings their lips together for a short and tender kiss. “I love you too. Don’t you ever fucking leave me like that again.”

“Never,” Louis agrees.

Exhausted from the emotional morning they had together, the two decided to take a nap. They fall asleep with theirs limbs intertwined, and when Harry wakes up he can’t help but feel relieved to find that Louis is still next to him.

“Feel better, babe?” Louis asks, twisting around to plant a tender kiss on Harry’s forehead.

Harry hums and turns in Louis’ arms, tucking his face into Louis’ chest.

“I know I’ve said it already but I’m sorry,” Louis murmurs into Harry’s hair.

“I know, Lou.”

Louis takes Harry to the Eiffel Tower after that. 

They stop at a small store to buy a bottle of wine and a blanket.The remainder of the day is spent sipping from the bottle of wine and stealing kisses under the Eiffel Tower.

“It’s beautiful,” Harry says in awe of the giant landmark in front of them.It’s always been a dream of his to come here.

“You’re beautiful,” Louis responds, leaning in to kiss Harry on the cheek.

Harry rolls his eyes but presses their lips together.He had missed Louis’ sappy comments.

When they get back to the hotel, Louis spreads Harry out on the bed, kissing every inch of Harry’s body.They’re making up for lost time, and each scorching hot kiss pressed into Harry’s skin leaves him gasping and squirming further into the bed.

“My baby,” Louis murmurs, kissing up Harry’s chest. “Always my baby.”

They both come at the same time while Louis slowly rocks into Harry, telling Harry over and over again how beautiful he is, how much he loves him.

By the end there’s tears in both of their eyes, and Harry thinks it might be the best sex he’s ever had.He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget and in the morning when he wakes up, he’ll find a large, dark love bite sucked into the base of his throat to remind him.

“So,” Louis begins the next morning. “What are your plans then?”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Harry links their hands together. “What do you mean?”

Louis shrugs. “Well, are you going to be coming home with me? Or are you making more stops in Europe?”

“Don’t be dumb, Louis,” Harry smiles. “I’m not going anywhere you’re not going.”

“Good,” Louis laughs, leaning down to kiss Harry.

“I think we both know you wanna stop in Amsterdam before we go home. Don’t think I didn’t forget about that time I made you watch the Fault in Our Stars, and you said you always wanted to go there.”

They spend two more days in Paris, sightseeing and having lots of sex.They put a lock on one of the bridges because Harry insists, and stand in a ridiculously long line to see the Mona Lisa.

Leaving Paris is bittersweet but they’re excited to see Amsterdam.

It warms Harry’s heart to watch one of Louis’ dreams come true.The smile on his face is brighter than Harry’s seen in a while and he wants to make Louis smile like that every day for the rest of their lives.

They smoke weed and have undoubtedly good high sex.They take a boat ride through the canals and try to find the famous bench from the Fault in Our Stars.Louis has to break the news to Harry that it was stolen by someone and Harry almost gets run over by a bike while he pouts about it.

It’s a beautiful city but Harry thinks Louis is even more beautiful.

When they get back to the States, Harry finishes school as promised.They both get steady jobs and decide that moving to New York is no longer something they want to do.It reminds them too much of heart break and mistakes.

Instead, they save up their money and Harry convinces Louis to move to London.Something Harry had often thought about since visiting.

They start a new life in there, with a small yet perfect flat not far from Central London.Niall comes down and visits often and they go up to Ireland when they can.

On Harry’s twenty-third birthday, Louis takes Harry to Paris and proposes to him under the Eiffel Tower. 

Harry and Louis get married a year later and while things may not always be perfect, they can both agree they’ve never been happier.They’ve both made their fair share of mistakes along the way, some may be worse than others, but they learn from their mistakes and they learn from each other.

“I love you,” Harry says as they watch the sun set along the River Thames.

“I love you, too. I’ll follow you to the end of the Earth if I have to.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, feedback is much appreciated!  
> follow me on tumblr www.headscarvesandtattoos.tumblr.com


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